I'm writing this wondering if anyone will ever read it, as it has been so very long since I last posted.

I just read a friend's blog and cried. Her honesty about God shamed me. I miss God, university is a hard place to be a Christian here, and I'm sad to say that I've been flailing miserable. Life is hard without God, and it hurts.

I've been having a really hard time with my boyfriend, and we just had a huge bust up, where he refused to see me when I needed him most. You know when you cry so hard it hurts?! Anyway, I don't know what brought me online and onto blogs, anything for a distraction I suppose, but I feel really humbled. I haven't yet got up that confidence to reach out to God, I guess I feel too ashamed of myself and my priorities.

Right now though it feels like the moment to be vulnerable and put it out there to the few trusted friends who can access this site, in the hope that by putting it bluntly into words will open my eyes, and say that I miss God. I miss friendships with committed Christians in who you can't help but see God. I miss being the apple of someone's eye, a God who knows best and will never forsake me or leave me in my hour of need. And on that note must go, humbled to my Father.